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One could assume that if you're in the deadliest assassination group in the world, that you would bond with your fellow murderers. For me, I did feel a kindred spiritual connection to most of them, like a dysfunctional family.

Looking back on our adventures together, hunting down the enemies, I actually felt loved. Adored even. I fell in love with the boss. My best friend was Vernita. It stung a little when I had to stick that backstabbing knife into her for her final breath. However, not as much as when as I exploded Bill's heart on that crisp autumn night. He was the love of my life. We had the best of times.

I often remember a specific meeting when Bill took me to Tokyo for the first time. We had an extraordinary time laughing and dancing under the fireworks. It was New Years Eve, and he kissed me at midnight. The rest of the crew was not far behind us, as we had business to take care of. Vernita showed up first and told me in some colorful words to come back to earth. She could tell Bill and I had a moment.

Vernita was vulgar yet classy. She was a walking oxymoron. I loved her open-ness yet was slightly afraid of her temper. She always had my back. Ms. Green even defended me from Bill a few times, which took guts. That's when I realized she was my true friend, or so I thought.

Budd. What can I say about this man that people would believe. Much of his life was dedicated to Bill. He was a quiet charmer but had an arrogant air about him. He knew Bill was smitten with me but that didn't stop him from hitting on me while we were alone. We had numerous gigs together. We traveled thousands of miles in silence. Then he would crack a joke and act as if we've been best buddies all along. He was complex. I was never afraid of him because I knew my way around the sword. I also knew many other stealth tactics that could take him down in 5 seconds or less. He was good with his pistol. He was a redneck thug assassin. Bill only kept him around because they were brothers, not because he was a lethal killing machine.

When Budd buried me alive, I wasn't surprised by his mentality. He couldn't shoot me, as he had feelings for me. He certainly took out his frustrations on me. I thought I was going to die down there, but just thinking of his smug face made me fight. The thought of him now makes me want to vomit. I despise his unoriginal life hiding behind his big brother.

I still wish I could have looked into Budd's eyes and sliced his skull open. Ms. Driver took my glory.

I never cared for Elle much. I could tell she was a conniving little witch from the moment I saw her. Bill and Elle had a brief fling right before I came into the picture. We were cordial with each other and I know we respected each other's abilities. She was trained by Pai Mei, as was I. I think she knew I was the better wielder, but she never led me to believe this. She always felt entitled as if she was Vice President of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. I steered clear of her for the most part, but there was this one job we had to do in Athens, Greece. Elle was following me on the pathway up to this kingpin's mansion. It was on a mountain and we had to walk almost 2 miles. During that walk, she "accidentally" pushed me towards the cliff as she tripped. Her sword was in her hands and to this day I remember hearing the sheath coming off of the blade. I never told Bill or any of the others. That was the first attempt at my assassination by her. I really loved taking her other eye and squashing it between my toes. I was going to slice it in half but I just had to step on her eye like it was a pesky roach. The satisfaction was immensely joyous. When I was walking away from Budd's trailer trash home, I felt powerful and giddy as I heard her screams.

Oren was a crazy woman. No one could tell her next move. We called her the loose cannon of the bunch, behind her back that is. You had to carefully choose your words with her. I admired her skill and often asked her advice on technique. She loved showing off her skills and those were the only times I think we felt close. We would stay up til dawn practicing new techniques sent from our master. She had a beautiful smile and when she would allow it to happen, I always complimented her. She would give me the finger and bow. She had a great sense of humor, as most crazy people do.

I understood why she was so angry all the time, as her past before joining the clan was not pleasant. I know she was brought up in an orphanage. Oren always kept quiet about her time there. I did some research and found out her foster parents were both jailed and killed in jail. Apparently they were child molesters. Bill would always tell me they were murdered by a crime boss and I just laughed in my head at his cover-up. I never understood why he was protecting her secrets. I did begin to understand a lot of her crazy angered outbursts were coming from her troubled past. I almost felt bad cutting her head off but then remembered she was standing right behind Bill shooting my groom to be.

I didn't realize how deep the bloodline ran in this group until I was lying in that church bleeding out. The mental anguish was more painful than the bullets. To be betrayed by the people that I thought were my family, was beyond a mental blow. I couldn't help but to shed a tear from the heartbreak. The bullets hurt, but not like looking at Bill and the barrel of his gun.

Bill and I had an amazing relationship. He was intellectual and witty. I was doe-eyed and impressionable. Everything he did was perfect to me.

When I found out I was pregnant with his baby, I just knew I had to give the child a more stable safe life. I was sad about leaving Bill and the other assassins, but I had to make that sacrifice for that innocent baby. I thank the heavens above she survived. I see her fathers smile everyday in her. It still breaks my heart but I have no regrets. Revenge is the best medicine.

Xo

Beatrix

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