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You know about that saying, "A penny saved is a penny earned"? Well, let's be honest; let's say that you're saving up your pennies. And then you look at all of the hundreds of pennies you have saved over the course of several months. And now it's time to think: when the f**k would I ever use these?!

Today's article is based off of a segment on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.

The following is why pennies in the United States should be discontinued.

In 2015, the U.S. Mint produced over nine billion pennies. But should they even continue? You would need to save up 100 pennies just to buy a bag of chips from your local 7-11. And these coins are so worthless they're not even worth what they're worth.

Believe it or not, it costs the U.S. Mint 1.7 cents to make a penny. That means with every penny made, they're losing money. And as a result, in 2015, they lost nearly $66 million making pennies. And it has been estimated nearly 66% of pennies don't circulate.

The U.S. Mint is currently spending a s**tload of money to make stuff that nobody likes and can make any use of. Pennies have pretty much the same worth as a DVD for Monster Trucks.

I mean, come on. Who watched that piece of s**t? It cost $125 million to make and only made $64.5 million at the box office. Like the penny, it would be better off for the sake of humanity if it just didn't exist.

Let's put it this way: you can make better use of a diaper with crocodile s**t than you can with this movie. But anyways, let's say you're walking down the street and you see pennies on the ground. Would you pick them up?

Well, in 2007, a New York news station ran a test where they left 150 pennies on the ground to see who would pick them up.

They were easily noticeable, but after 25 minutes of all these pennies lying on the ground, not one person cared to pick a single one up. And this is legal currency free on the ground. And no one gives a damn about these things. If you saw a dollar on the ground, you'd pick it up before anyone else could.

But if it's a penny, you wouldn't even think about taking it, would you? In 2011, a news station in San Francisco ran a similar test, and still, no one cared to pick it up.

And in 2002, Gallup polling found that 2% of Americans admitted to throw people out. People treat pennies the way people treat Trump Steaks. If it's on the ground, don't pick it up, don't look at it, and forget that it's there. If a Trump Steak were to find its way to your house, throw that s**t away. Homeless people wouldn't even want to try that crap.

I mean, they probably taste exactly like Trump. I wouldn't be surprised if they took the meat from Trump himself.

According to the Treasury Department, private businesses can prohibit payment in pennies, and in some places such as Mike's Bikes in San Rafael, they round the price down to the nearest nickel so that it is in the customer's favor. This was a customer's response to it:

"Whatever is easier, I don't care. Am I helping?"

Yeah, sure. You're helping. I know you shouldn't just take my word for it, biker guy, but you know, it is easier after all.

If getting rid of pennies will do nothing but convenience indifferent consumers, then you may be wondering what the point of pennies. Well, some people have actually been able to put pennies to good use. The writers at Last Week Tonight were able to find this Reddit thread and I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Well, let me just say, if you were to take a penny and shove it in your ass, it would feel exactly how you think it would feel.

And rumor has it that this is what Trump does before he plays golf. It's his good luck charm.

That's one fat ass for someone with such thin skin
That's one fat ass for someone with such thin skin

Now, some Lincoln enthusiasts will do whatever they can to keep the penny in circulation, as the U.S. penny has Lincoln's face on it. Well, first off, I can't imagine why anyone would care this much about a politician who's been dead for over 150 years, but why would they even want Lincoln on something so worthless?

The thing is, Lincoln is already on the $5 bill.

And you would DEFINITELY pick up a $5 bill if you saw it on the ground. Because it's worth 500 times more than a penny.

They can't even make pennies out of something worth less than copper. There isn't anything more worthless. Well, there's that and this pirate's eyepatch that you can put on your car.

Who would buy this? What is the f**king point?

Many countries have already started to get rid of pennies, including Canada, Brazil, Australia, and Britain. Why can't the United States to do this? Pennies are near worthless, and it's time that you pull your head out of your ass, rip the penny out of your ass, and then flush that away.

And that's it!


Do you think pennies should be gotten rid of in the United States?

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