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In 1982, there was stiff competition to grab consumer’s attention. Developer contributed in a very unique way to this era. Rather than catering to the mainstream imagery of a collective group of bestie's like Mike, Dustin & Lucas from Stranger Things, they saw a different audience for the 2600. A very pornographic one.

The game was called Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em, and when a say pornographic, I mean a petri dish of X-rated WTF: wanking, jiz, and money shots.

Knowing Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em exists takes the nostalgic reverence of gaming in the ‘80s on a licentious U-turn. We should have known people have always been naughty.

The Games Objective: To Catch Sperm

It wasn’t easy to get your hands on in the ‘80s. It was all sticky magazines and well-worn VHS tapes. Sitting around a friends place watching Debbie Does Dallas with pillows on your laps should have been awkward enough, but then came along Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em.

The consisted of catching falling sperm from a wanking man who has overcome his fear of vertigo to share his love of the perverse. If that sounds hard enough to get a grip on, the clammy truth only gets weirder.

At the bottom of the building stands two seemingly eager ladies who wish for more than life sustaining droplets from fluffy clouds. I can see you beginning to put the pieces together. Your goal in the game is to maneuver the women to catch the string of pearls in their mouths. If your steady hands manage to catch all the sperm, the two women would lick their sticky lips in a show of their satisfaction to end the level.

As I said - WTF!

Using Space Invaders as a comparable archetype: advancement saw the level of the overhead bombardment intensify as the game progressed. If the deluge became unmanageable, a saturated face would also count on a lower difficulty level too.

Funny Enough, It Wasn’t A Success

(Credit: Mystique)
(Credit: Mystique)

Developers have long tried to grow the adult gaming market. Sex sells, there’s no denying it. When Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em was released however, it received a lot of criticism for its degrading objectification of women. The deranged outcome was a game that opened up a trench coat of 8-bit perversion.

To put it simply, the game was in bad taste from all angles.

Compared to 2 for example, the sexual content was not seen as acceptable. Fallout's attempt at adult specific content was done in a tongue-in-cheek way that allowed it to be considered tolerable.

Find out more about the Fallout 2’s sex formula here:

It Does Matter What's Wrong Or Right

[Via KnowYourMeme]
[Via KnowYourMeme]

Who really knows what inspired Mystique to develop a game even a Hyena would have trouble moralizing with. It may have been as simple as coinciding with the newly released Beat It, by Michael Jackson playing on the radio.

Just beat it, beat it

Just beat it, beat it

Classic gaming systems, games and characters that formed the bedrock for future generations of button bashers was formed in the ‘80s. Seeing naked women catching semen from a ejaculating deviate on a rooftop is thankfully not one of them.

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