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Umm... are you going to drink that Skooma?

Not content with peddling enough lies, racism and fear to get the UK riled up enough to leave the European Union and stare into an abyss filled with anger, regret and another financial recession, the UK's yellow presses have recently begun getting themselves lathered up over what they reckon to be "the world's most dangerous game": Pokémon GO.

Poké Then, UK...

Yeah, seriously. As if they haven't got enough news on their hands as the United Kingdom sets itself alight whilst the world watches, the most widely read tabloids on the island have the staunch belief that British trainers, Pokemon GO-ing at it around the land, will be scooped up by all manners of perverts and criminals as they're innocently trying to catch that bloody Starmie.

The Mail, one of the UK's most divisive tabloids, was the king of headlines as they concocted a fear mongering story legendary satirist Chris Morris would be proud of:

Is this the world's most dangerous game? Fears new Pokemon Go app craze could be used by paedophiles to lure unsuspecting young players

Not one to mess about with their scaremongering, The Mail!

Anyway, here's a round up of the rest of the UK media's Poké-meltdown:

The Daily Telegraph

The Times

The Sun seemingly didn't care all that much about the kids, as this story was relegated to a little quick news box further into the newspaper:

The Express kept to the high road, of sorts, by running with a widely reported story that installing Pokémon GO with an APK may bring malware along for the ride on your smartphone...

But it's not only the UK's presses that are soiling their Poké-pants, here are a few other choice headlines from around the globe:

New York Post has recounted the discovery of a body, the story of the armed robbers attracting trainers and the fact that a graveyard in NYC has an unusually high amount of Pokéstops...

Herald Sun are reporting that the game is sending kids to a gay beach...

Kotaku are running with a story on the fact that we could see more brothers and sisters being reduced to hashtags when Pokémon GO-ing whilst Black...

And CTV News Vancouver have smashed the ball out of the park with this headline...

Well the media have well and truly caught a bout of the sensational when out in the cold, hunting for news rather than Mews.

Whilst paedophilia is no laughing matter, the idea of a game that is doing the impossible and bringing people together, over something wholesome and fun for once, could be the breeding ground of rapists is disgusting. And the fact that there is no proof of this occurrence only makes in-roads into worrying about the state of the collective mind in this post-factual society we're residing within.

So, basically, as you were, trainers. Keep catching them all, but do be vigilant of your surroundings, try not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when hunting and remind your kids of the dangers of strangers. But most of all, have fun!

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