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Umm... are you going to drink that Skooma?

Tech and entertainment giants Sony have for the past 70 years been at the very forefront of stunning technological advancement, and that truth was highlighted with aplomb in 2016 when the corporation released the —currently the most powerful console in the world.

And in 2017, Sony are showing no signs of stopping with said technological advancements. In Las Vegas at this year's CES, Sony CEO Kazuo Hirai took to the stage to show off all the premium Sony-shaped electrical goods we won't be able to afford, but damn sure love to gawp at.

XBR-A1E Bravia 4K OLED TV

[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

Usually the realm of LG, OLED TV technology is fast becoming the go-to standard of televisual entertainment, because the tech offers up more of the deepest blacks, resplendent colors and less input lag than your average LCD picturebox.

Sony is aiming to end this age of dominance for the South Korean company by releasing their 2017 flagship XBR-A1E, a 4K OLED TV that literally sounds too awesome to be true. The romantically designated XBR-A1E comes with Dolby Vision HDR built in as standard, meaning that PS4 Pro you just coughed up for will look better than ever.

The TV is also hella thin, with its 4K HDR Processor X1 Extreme (pretty extreme designation) chip and the rest of its innards being housed in that nifty little stand at the back. And, bruh, peep this. *Leans closer* It hasn't got any speakers. The screen is the speakers.

[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

With no idea how this works, the best I can do right now is scream at the top of my lungs "I WILL NOT SUFFER A WITCH TO LIVE" and dive head first out of the nearest window. For this is true alchemy. But realistically, cause it's real cold out, I'm guessing the TV's Acoustic Surface tech is made up of a very flexible polymer that is able to reverberate enough to disturb air particles into creating sound. But that's just my ten cents, let's see what Sony had to say about it:

Taking advantage of the OLED’s backlight-less structure, Sony developed a new Acoustic Surface sound technology. Thanks to the ingenious design, the entire screen resonates with rich sound emanating directly from the screen itself.

Welp, that's hella dope. But does it sound good? I couldn't tell you. But what I can tell you is the TV is smart, runs on the Android TV OS and will more than likely cost thousands upon thousands of dollars to get into your prized possession, especially seeing as it comes in 55-, 65-, and 77-inch varieties. And...I want one. I'll start a GoFundMe campaign. Maybe twirk a bit on Patreon...

VPL-VZ1000ES 4K Projector & UBP-X1000ES 4K UHD Blu-ray Player

[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

Sony's new short throw projector is delightfully beautiful, with harsh fan lines and a body comprised entirely of black metal. What's so special about this behemoth is it can project, say, a 100-inch image onto a surface that's as little as six inches away. What? The major downside is the thing costs a bold $25,000. But it does have a lumen count of 2,500 and support HDR. So...

[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

Second up is Sony's new and way fancy 4K UHD Blu-Ray player with a veritable smorgasbord of abbreviations applied to it that renders it unmissable for those who don't want a console in their living room. The UBP-X1000ES supports HDR content, can play UHD Blu-rays, streams Netflix, Amazon Video and the like in 4K, and even supports Blu-ray 3D and DVD. It has a USB port for external HDDs and can even read CDs! Remember those? And it also supports Bluetooth headphones casually.

There's no price attached to this box o' tricks, but expect it to be rather pricey.

Headphones & Wireless In-Ear Buds

Sony's wireless in-ear buds [Credit: Engadget]
Sony's wireless in-ear buds [Credit: Engadget]

Now that Apple is trying to render the 3.5mm jack obsolete (thanks?), Sony are jumping on the bandwagon with their own wireless in-ear buds and wired ear buds that are anchored to your neck. Though still in the prototype phase, you can expect these to release somewhere in the year to rival Apple and LG's offerings.

Headphones

Sony has also upgraded its Extra Bass line of cans and wireless speakers with four new headphones and speakers. Coming at our ears around Springtime are:

  • MDR-XB950N1
[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

The flagship cans, these over-ear headphones are fully wireless thanks to Bluetooth, have an integrated mic, are foldable, NFC compatible, cancel exterior noise and has 22 hours worth of playback.

  • MDR-XB950B1

Are basically the same as the above over-ears, but haven't the noise-cancelling ability and only 18 hours of playback. I say only 18 hours like that's bad. That's still pretty good.

  • MDR-XB550AP
[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

If you like the security of wires and not having to worry about Bluetooth burning away at your brain, these wired on-ear cans come with a mic and in-line remote. They also come in five different colors: black, white, red, green and blue.

  • MDR-XB510AS
[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

And finally we arrive at the water-resistant, wired in-ear headphones. Perfect for you sporty types.

Speakers

  • SRS-XB40

And: SBS-XB30 & SBS-XB20

[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

All the mod-cons come part and parcel with these badboys, NFC, Bluetooth, water-resistance, and even fancy little LED "club-like" lights dotted around the speaker to get the party started, as it were. The speakers are wirelessly connectable (of course) and can be chained (maximum of ten) for even moar noize.

  • SRS-XB10
[Credit: Sony]
[Credit: Sony]

And this cute offering is just 3 and ½ by 3 inches big, includes Bluetooth and NFC connectivity, has playback life of 16 hours and even comes with a little strap you can use to hang it off things! It's also IPX5 water resistant.

These pieces of tech, two PS4s and a strong line-up of first party games? 2017 may be Sony's year. Now let's have less twin-stick shooters in PS Plus' monthly free games, please.

The cast of Assassin's Creed and their video game confessions:

[Source: Sony]

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