My story begins with me loosing all support i had. My family was fighting i had no friends because i was becoming too stressed with everything from the loud lonely school to the house of heartbroken souls. My friends, they began to leave one by one by one. I had a girl and ohh was she awesome. But i wasnt at the time i was pushy i never understood why they didnt feel love. A loveless world is what i saw and it broke my heart to the point where i joined the ranks; i shut people out like they did. I hurt others like i was. Because of that, I had no one but me. I was alone.
I remember just the emptiness that i felt why do i see these things where is the love? Why is there none? Why are we so broken? I remember sitting up one night thinking about what was going on. I was scared for my future and for the future of those i cared for. I did what most lonely men do... listened to music as it seemed to be the only thing that wanted to be near me. The only one that still talked to me. But inbetween two songs i saw an add; it was an advertisement to become a us army chaplain i prayed;
"God if you are there listening to me, let me be a chaplain to bring hope to the broken hearted. Let me be a man like that so that way no one around me will ever again have to feel alone like i have."
A couple days later my mom comes in with an invitation with a church ive never heard of that has two tickets left to a band called Jesus Culture. I went because i thought truelly what do i have to loose.
I went with questions such as, why does no one love me? Why does no one love eachother? With my heart set finding on the truth what icompletely got changed my mind.
I remember singing a song from when i was young about how God loves us and i realised something; Gods love for us. I remember being overwhelmed when i realised how he loves us that way... like his child and we always go against him... it is just in our nature as human beings... to do what is wrong, to do what is good for us, i figured oit the root of all our problems; selfishness.
When we get into relationships we think about how our partners benefit us instead of how we can improve their lives. When we have family problems we dont want to deal with it because it hurts us, how much does it hurt everyone? Selfishness, was the root of all things i found a problem too, but if this was the problem what was the cure?
Love, if we had more of it this world would be a better place. Not just hugs and kisses i mean a lifestyle. To live in it. So i chose to live by it. To be patient with others not to seek good for myself but for those around me, to be there for others even if i know theyd never be there for me, to help others find themselves even if i will never find me. that is love.
So, did i find the answers to my question? Yes, i did we are broken because dont see people like that often. People that just want to serve . We are the cure to the worlds problems God created us but ultimately its up to us to do what is right, to live the selfless life. To this day i am alone but i dont care because i love people for who they are i can change my views. But i cant change how others view me. If there is one thing i hope you get out of this it is to love. Its what cured my broken heartheart , just seing it.