It's after the over all "mah" year of 2016 in the film industry that has the world up in arms for something... more? Different? Better? Hidden Figures...ish? Dammit It's been difficult for the left brained to find work in Hollywood, with much more studios setting their sights on lame versions of once respected books. The Girl On The Train comes to mind. Handed over more comic book movies like Batman v Superman, Captain America: Civil War, Suicide Squad and Doctor Strange. With a clear winner in the DC vs Marvel battle. We got a "Star Wars story", but with the addition of another M%R F^@K!NG Medea movie it was as if we took one step forward to take three steps back as sequel, sequel, sequel each worst than the last flooded the cinema. (shoot me, please... well not really) Well new year, new Hollywood? Absolutely not, but hopefully we have something new and "better" in the works this year. "This is a sample of things to come".
Did I use the word SEQUEL enough earlier? Well if 2016 was best suited and described through the sequels in Hollywood, then 2017 just kicked in the door and forced itself shamefully down your dry throat saying, "THIS TIME YOUR GOING TO LOVE THIS SHIT... ummm, EVEN IF YOU DON'T!" Speaking of Shameful dirty sex acts that we shouldn't speak about in a blog, or story of any type, lets talk about Fifty Shades: Darker: Unlike the absolutely BRILLIANT film adaptation of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, someone, SOMEWHERE, felt it was beneficial to plug hundreds of millions of dollars behind the continuation of the failed first Fifty Shades of Grey movie. The outrage of sixteen year old virgins who religiously read E.L. James trilogy of questionable sex acts, and over controlling "love", while defining megalomania was clear; Christian Grey wasn't "sexy" enough, Anna Steel wasn't believable, there wasn't enough SEX! I don't know all the complaints but they where loud and... blah. So what happens in this second book that would make you think the second movie will be more enjoyable to the books fan base? Why should they go and watch this thing? I don't know, slight spoiler: Anna gets stoked by some chick Grey was beating in the past, before he knew what love was, before he got dumped at the elevator of... doom? More red room of pain stuff...? The only reason why I even brought up this movie AT ALL was because DAMN they... are.... promoting the F#$% out of this thing. Adding plot not originally in the book, to fill in the holes they had in the first movie because... the book is sex, and you can't rate porno 'R'. They added even more "sexy" people in the film and judging from the singles on the soundtrack, made a rather costly pop millennial version of a 1970's porn backtrack, which I'm sure will include moans. Movie comes out on Valentines day if that tickles your fancy, and it should, because your girlfriends are going to force you to watch the damned thing. Sad days... phhh.
Alright! Lets get down to the main attraction, COMIC BOOK FILMS!
- Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2: Who didn't randomly like the exploits of Peter Quill? I did, you did... YES YOU DID. Well, in that case the whole gang is back in a sophomore effort to romance you out of your $18.25 per-ticket for the imax, and if you fill unfulfilled, free 3D glasses experience! As one of the many movies that take place in this Marvel Cinematic universe coming out in 2017 I'll simply throw the trailers to each one up until July in turn, and open up the comments to theories, and please respect the spoiler tag. James Gunn is back as director, as rag tag Guardians try to learn more about Peter Quills family. Including why an infinity stone didn't murder him in mer seconds when he grabbed it towards the end of the first movie. That is not a spoiler, if you have not seen the first Guardians movie you've had YEARS! It's your fault, not mine. May 5, 2017
- Logan: If you could sum up a movie in it's synopsis: "In the near future, a weary Logan cares for an ailing Professor X in a hide out on the Mexican border. But [his] attempt to hide from the world and his legacy are up-ended when a young mutant arrives, being pursued by dark forces." It would seem that this is just another throw away Marvel (by way of 20th Century Fox) film. However, being labeled as Hugh Jackman's final time dawning the CGI metal claws director James Mangold has gone all out. With a much darker story than any other Marvel (by way of 20th Century Fox) movie, and if rumors are factual a not so happy ending, could this be the surprise Marvel film of the year? March 3, 2017
- Spider-Man: Homecoming: After years of Marvel/Sony negotiations and teases, last year Spider-Man made his Marvel cinematic universe debut in Captain America: Civil War to a surprising amount of praise. I say it like that because the internet has become a place where you can opening trash craft. If your sitting at your computer saying, "nah." You more than likely fall under this majority. You can add myself, but at least more times than not I'll explain why I don't like something instead of just saying, "OMG, FML, THIS MOVIE, FML, FML! Burn something!" This movie, interestingly enough, is the third post 2000 adaptation of the web slinger, but the first not to bring in the radioactive spider plot line into the film. Peter Parker is already Spider-Man as you saw in The Aven... I mean Captain America: Civil War. The dastardly OzCorp is already flooding problems into the streets, and with the choice of The Vulture and The Shocker as the major villains in this film there's a filling that Spidey's on the rise again. July 7, 2017
- Wonder Woman: So when you think we are going to have an origin free 2017. Then this thing comes out, and drags my hopes and dreams through the mud, and spits on it's with amazing malice. I am not saying it's not going to be good. However, with last years DC cinematic universe's underwhelming undercard. I do have to look at this movie with my arms folded over my chest, and scrutinizing eyes. This movie takes place in the throws of World War 2, kinda like Captain America: The First Avenger. An amazon princess warrior comes from a distant planet to right injustice and set up her own story in a (hopefully) multi-billion dollar Justice League movie franchise. June 2, 2017
- The Lego Batman Movie: So before I hear something like, "but Lego Batman isn't apart of the DC cinematic universe." Neither is Logan a part of the Marvel cinematic universe so I'm counting it. Plus DC is just getting out shinned and out numbered this year. So they NEED it. In typical format of these Lego movies, this movie seems to be about Lego Bruce Wayne dealing with the lose of his family by adopting Lego Dick Graceson, in an adventure to save Lego Gotham from the evil hands of The Lego Joker. Sounds pretty f*cking epic to me! February 10, 2017
Only five super hero movies in the first half of the year isn't that bad right? Well in part two we have roughly four more that have been announced so look forward to that! Should be a great year in that regard. Since their are so many SEQUELS this year I can not go over all of them, so I would like to give a quick shout out to XXX: Return Of Xander Cage, Smurfs: The Lost Village, and Transformers: The Last Knight. I'm sure I will leave out other sequels, but to be honest these are the five that catch my eye.
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales: Damn! I really didn't think I would have the desire to see ANOTHER POTC movie, but this teaser trailer has me back on board. Jack Sparrow missing, new foes a foot, ...wait a minute. It's the same F^$%ING plot as the other FOUR movies! Too bad I have soft spot for corky dumb pirates out witting each other on their quest for... I think I've lost sight of this entire concept. Rule of the seven seas sounds just a tad far-fetched and ships are huge, yet they seem to always sneak up on each other, and krakens, cursed pirates, and stolen booty with standing. The movies aren't making any head way for an ultimate conclusion. Too bad my enter child says F^%$ logic, and everyone who stands between me and the AMC box office when this next chapter is released. May 26, 2017
- John Wick Chapter 2: You know that old saying that the second is NEVER as good as the first? I am almost 100% sure that will be the case with this second John Wick movie. Why watch it then you may think. Because the first one kicked so much ass that if this one is only 1/4 as good as it's father, it's still two times better than the average action film. This story has Wick offered a contract that he denies, because he only kills people trying to take away from his happiness since his wife died. Seems kinda antiquated, but who am I to judge? NOBODY! That's f%[email protected] who. Now there are thousands of world class assassins looking to seal John on an absolutely massive contract, that has been put out on Wick for declining an offer to kill someone else, I guess? I know, I know, but I'll give it a chance anyway. February 10, 2017
- T2 Trainspotting: If fo: I really think that this franchise needs to end, I really do, but because they keep on making movies with extremely redundant and impossible shit in it. I just can't walk away. Now with Paul Walker's tragic passing it's almost like: "...well the least I can do is watch tion. Go watch the damn movie, NOW! I'll wait... I promise. Ok so your caught up? Good, very good. Renton doesn't do drugs anymore, but now he has to fulfill his life with non-sense in order to stay off of the drugs that destroyed his life. I'm sure it gets wild! January 27, 2017
- Allen: Covenant: Although this movie is not a sequel of one of the 1980's-00's sci-fi thriller/horrors, it is the second movie in the perceived long standing NEW Allen franchise after 2012's Prometheus. This movie basically fellows suite from when the first ended, and almost around the time of the first Allen in 1979. When Prometheus is found, and almost all the members of the crew are found dead. Then you know the just, everyone finds out how, THEY for the most part die. It's not going to break the mold too much, but I do think the movie will be amazing none the less. May 19, 2017
- The Fate Of The Furious: I really think that this franchise needs to end, I really do, but because they keep on making movies with extremely redundent and impossible shit in it. I just can't walk away. Now with Paul Walker's tragic passing it's almost like: "...well the least I can do is watch The Fast and The Furious." It's an unfortunate trap that the crew over at Universal is going to use to their advantage until someone, ANYONE says enough is enough. It's not going to be me, I personally like watching cars take down flying airplanes and tanks. Dom in this film is trapped between the love of his life, and his family (The Furious) leaving his crew in disarray. What happens when those closest to you betray everything you believe in? What happens when your enemies are the only people truly willing to help you? What if your completely trapped? This movie looks like another April delight! April 14, 2017
We're going to quickly go over the round up for the first 6 months of the year from today. So if some of your favorites aren't on the list yet, maybe they come out after July 10th or maybe they are in this last section. The movies that I want to see the most.
- Kong: Skull Island: As we prep for a clash between Godzilla and King Kong you had to have assumed that Kong would get yet another origin film. Even though I stated earlier that I'm not a fan of these continued attempts at the same story. Everything about this Kong movie just seems different from the other two origin stories about the giant ape. The CGI is much clearer the antagonist is obvious, and humans inability to except and move on, is written much better in the trailer of this project then in the entire actuality of 2005's King Kong, and that was a good, as be it a long as fu...dge movie. March 10, 2017
- Power Rangers: It's morphin TIME! Angel Groves favorite super heroes are back with a brand new movie. This as with Kong is kind of an origin story, but since it's a none television influenced version of an extremely popular 1990's TV series. I actually think the story of their origin is valid if not a needed to keep kids who are not peavy to who the hell the Power Rangers are, and are being forced to watch this thing from their fan boy parents, whom are shoving this piece of nostalgia on their un-understanding children. Main villains Reta Repalsa and Goldar in a new twist to a classic. March 24, 2017
- Ghost In The Shell: The Major is here, The Major is back, and The Major is soo MFING HOT! The first half of this years preview would not be complete with out the remake of 90's anime Ghost In The Shell. Noted as one of the greatest Animated movies of all time, and my personal favorite after Akira. It takes place in futuristic Tokyo, as Section 9 stops cyber criminals and other A.I.'s from destroying the very laws constructed to keep the citizens safe. Then all hell breaks loss. If you haven't seen the Animated movies, the mini series, or even heard of this franchise before... I don't know you until you do. March 31, 2017
Feel free to message below with other movies your looking for between today and July 10, and we can talk about it! Thank you for baring through all this and be sure to follow me for reviews on all these movies and more! Until next time I'm AntiPunk Dashon Love.